Why I’ve Been Blog-Quiet

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In fragments.

  1. Because in a world that loses reason faster than I can keep up with, stillness and listening are healing.
  2. The start of a new semester, naturally. The last semester of college is one in which I obsessively calculate opportunity costs: I weigh every moment spent on the Internet against time that I could be cramming with “college” experiences, spontaneous trips, splitting nachos and boba tea late at night, sneaking onto fire escapes to watch the sunset.
  3. Sometimes, there’s little to say because I could add nothing new. My hurt has already been articulated. I’ve discovered that I nurse pain quietly.
  4. I am also quietly tenacious. Quiet like steady breathing, or an ocean pulsing.
  5. This is exciting news: Some friends and I are starting an after-school tutoring program for recently arrived immigrant high school students. It’s a pretty time-consuming organizational undertaking, but worth everything I pour into it and am learning from it.
  6. Sleep and introspection nourish.
  7. I’ve been experimenting with other forms of writing and publications. I’m challenging the capacities of what my words can do, outside of the forms I’m comfortable with.
  8. I’ve been conscious of the balance between how I am making space and taking space; I find myself developing the latter, preferring to lend light to the voices I find particularly insightful in trying times.
  9. Letting this blog change.
  10. Letting myself change.
  11. Where I stopped updating: I was ready to publish a review of a wonderful YA novel about an Iranian American girl when the Executive Order was released. I was doubled over in hurt for this character I had met and loved. I saw the book differently, in a way that the first review couldn’t have done justice to: It was newly precious, and urgent. I will probably still publish a review. But at the time, reality had violently asserted itself into reading.
  12. And why I am trying to come back: Because we find healing in our communities, the ones that can hold our hands and the ones across digital distances. Stories – and the joy of lifting them up in hopes that they will sow a kinder world – are unending.
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5 thoughts on “Why I’ve Been Blog-Quiet

  1. I can completely understand needing some time away from the internet but hope that you do publish your review anyway. Not just because I’m curious which book it is, but because the more voices we have for inclusion and promoting beautiful diverse books, the better. Especially #ownvoices.

    Liked by 1 person

    • (I can’t believe I just saw this! My apologies for the late follow-up.) Thank you for your kindness and understanding. With your encouragement, I felt confident enough posting this book. It’s indeed an #ownvoices book – a lighthearted story narrated by the daughter of Iranian immigrants. After a healthy break (and knowing what my boundaries are), I think I’m definitely ready to come back to the Internet 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for sharing this post. I’m happy that you’re taking the time to heal & put energy into what resonates with you. I’m trying to focus more energy into other challenges in life, so I may only blog during the weekends. Though truth be told, I don’t really have a blogging schedule. I also understand the feeling of wanting maintain a connection to a community that gives back strength and joy, so will boost and keep an eye out for when ever you drop in. Many of my book blogger friends take the breaks they need in life with support too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Glaiza! You should know that I really look up to you (and others our #DiverseBookBloggers community), not only for your insightful words but for when you choose to take mindful distance. Sending so much love and light ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Book Review: Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel | Intrepid YA

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